Monday, June 20, 2005

What women got

This is not an analysis of what women want, even though I know.* It is about, conversely, what they got. Why all the trouble? What do we need from them? What can women add to our lives? We already have cable television and sport-utility vehicles, but we seek out women nonetheless. What can they do for us? What are they for?

Modern life is about forgetting modern life, and there are many ways to be entertained and many ways to be distracted, and in many of these ways, cable television and sport-utility vehicles can figure prominently. However, there is one category in which women, or at least certain remarkable women, can alone suffice. In our world of abundance, we have not found a way to replace the one thing women alone can do. They can be dirty, dirty, dirty.

By the very definition, a purpose-built plaything cannot be dirty. Dirty can only happen when purpose is perverted. Playstations are supposed to be fun, so when they are fun they are boring. Women, on another hand, are supposed to be angels sent from god to urinate flower petals unto the earth. So when they are dirty, dirty girls, we are relieved and gratified.

Am I wrong?

Your lady may be wonderful. But don’t you like the dirty ones better?

I like the dirty ones better.

Women are better than us: so we admire them. But anyone can do that, as we aren’t that great. They can also show they are so much worse than us: that’s exciting too. But anyone can do that, as the world is full of temptation. The way to be supreme is to keep these two things going at once: to be a woman, yes, but also to be dirty (which is to take the feminine to the non-feminine, thereby perfecting both, in a way not available to men). So ladies, please, get your Ph.D.s. Run for the senate. Control industry. But find the time to be dirty, dirty girls. You will not regret it. This is how you will truly stand out. There is always extra time for what is important. If you do not know what I mean, please call. We will find a way for you to shine by being tarnished.

What have you got to lose but your self-respect?


* They want to be respected, admired, and fucked into the wall every eight hours, just like everyone else.

by Jack, June 20, 2005 3:51 PM | More from Women

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2 Comments

emmapeal said:

Finally!
Someone understands.
: )

In Vino Veritas said:

For once, Jack writes a post I cannot disagree with in any way, nor even quibble with, nor snark at. You've hit the nail on the head, buddy. "Dirty" is the word of the day.

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