Wednesday, October 22, 2003

The Ugly Reader: Ugly Takes a Stand

(Part 10 of 10. Thank you for your attention.)

So, while everyone checks out their date to make sure he or she is not the ugliest such possible date in the room, I am occupied in my role as the quiet champion of the ugly. I admire the girl with stocky, bruised legs who purposefully wore that short a skirt and now keeps tugging down on it every few syllables.

I admire the fellow who asked for whiskey and soda and then immediately clarified that he wanted soda water, not like a Coca-Cola soda. Those people sitting at the bar who are “explaining” something to strangers are automatic shoo-ins. We are a sad, sick, doomed group, and there is no one not like us. But that is enough to uplift us.

The songstress in the corner, probably near death, has the voice of a dirty angel. She has shown the way. My people, take up your ugly. It is your only chance.


de blogosphére

by Jack, October 22, 2003 4:48 PM | More from The Ugly Reader

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who said:

Any cute girl can have stocky bruised legs. Sounds like you like your 'ugly' a la Hollywood. Toss some glasses and frizzy hair on a model. But how do you feel about pocked-marked faces and thirty pounds too many? Mmmm-hmmmm.

Jack said:

Whether or not I like stocky, bruised legs is outside of the scope of my observation, and left as an exercise to the reader. All I meant to point out was that the owner of these legs seemed herself ashamed of them, and yet had worn a skirt designed to reveal them. That's why I don't understand people.

literary critic said:

Your excellent piece of work is a thing of ugliness!

Mary said:

i have a ugly face.but also i have a good body (slim,skinny,slender..whtever)i feel depressed because people seem care about face more.a girl with okay looking face but fat body could have more chance of getting a boyfriend than the one who has bad looking face but good body .and no matter how kind a person is ,he/she always make a first judgement by other people`s physical appearence.that is a truth i`ve learned so in the university i`m studying at ,many western people teach english ,and they like to go to the bar near this that bar once i worked at,these western people ,especially guys,like to talk to those pretty girls,and girls being ugly like me,however skinny my body is,they just dont give a ****ing care.that is it.i have less ,much less chance of getting close touch with these western guys than those pretty girls.but those pretty(r they REALLY pretty? as far as i know most of them are quite ugly inside) have far more chance than me.
so that is the truth i`ve learned so far,in my 20 years life,i have this precious truth,BEING UGLY LOOKING IS A LOSER,BUT BEING PRETTY LOOKING COULD ALWAYS BE A WINNER!!THAT IS IT! BY THE WAY IM A CHINESE!

Jack said:

I've been thinking about your comment, Mary. It perplexes me. I hope you are able to find good advice from the people in your life, because I am for entertainment purposes only. What you seem to be suggesting is that ugly, scrawny women are less popular than pretty, plump women. I think we already knew that. Fortunately for you, there is a partial solution: it is easy to get chubby. Alternately, send in your photo and I will tell you if there is hope or if, in the words of Morrissey, you should become familiar with the television schedule.

Fate said:

I am so utterly amazed when people obsess about their weight. There's atkins, low carbs, and all kinds of diets that make me sick. Being skinny is not all it's crapped up to be. Sure, I'm very skinny, but I am also so very repulsive(my face could make Frankeinstein cringe) that no matter how nice, funny, or smart I am, people will always judge me by my appearance. Visually unattractive people always have to carry that dreaded burden of lonliness. The most incredible aspect of being ugly though, is that people often think I'm mad. I'm not mad, sad, angry, tired, or depressed: I'm ugly. I've even said it a few times. When a lady at my work heard me say "I'm ugly," she jumped up and said "No you're not. You're beautiful. God thinks you're beautiful." So that's what I don't understand, why is ugliness frowned upon? I thinks it's just a distinction from beauty. And guys never look at me twice. People force smiles on their faces when they see me, and I don't even care, so why should they? They have flaws too, but I take all the blame. Guess plastic surgery is my only option, but then why should I change myself for other people? I certainly don't have a problem with the way I look: the world does. So everyday, I go on, living, with this dreaded curse that was embedded upon me. I might as well have a dartboard stuck to my forehead.

Jack said:

I've never noticed a marked difference between the happiness of ugly people and that of beautiful people. Unfortunately, this is not due to the resourcefulness of the ugly so much as it is the beautiful's crippling obsession with minituae that haven't gone their way. Or, to put it another way, as you climb Maslow's Pyramid of Need, new shit starts to piss you off. Stay ugly: it's cheaper.

Fate said:

Staying ugly is not cheaper; just ask my magazine collection. I feel like i have to spend money on things just so i can feel better about myself. and the shit of it is, i am my own worst enemy cause when i look in the mirror, i can't stand it. so while others might think i'm ugly, i am my own worst critic. and to point out a few things that are wrong with the world, it's ok for guys to be ugly, as long as they're smart, rich, or have a pretty lady on their arms. It's ok for pretty girls to be smart, but when ugly girls show sings of intellegence, it's like shut up, no one cares. what the hell is wrong with our society?????

Jack said:

I said it was cheaper to be ugly, not that it was cheaper to be happy. Your magazines et al don't make you ugly; you did that for yourself. I suppose they are your crutch, like my award-winning blog is mine. The rest of your comment smacks of complaining. Again, I'd say you are on the wrong tack: it isn't that it's okay for pretty girls to be smart -- it's okay for them to be pretty. Smart girls who are pretty are still pretty, smart girls who are ugly are still ugly. If you want to be admired for your signs of intelligence, get a job on radio.

Fate said:

Ok, but if a guy is smart and ugly, rich and ugly, fat and ugly but rich, ugly with a sense of humor, or just's different cause he's a guy right? apparently that rule only applies to lesser life forms, such as males.

Anonymous said:

im ugly.

Jack said:

All this ugly stuff is getting me down. Can some of the hot readers start posting for a while?

But Ms. Fate, as I previously observed, you seem to mostly be whining. I think what you are saying is that, for men, there can be mitigating factors to ugliness. If that's true, it's certainly the fault of those people (let's say, women) who find men attractive under such conditions.

As you know, one of the principles of the Ugly Revolution is that there can be no mitigating factors to ugliness; it is absolute. But if you think there are for men, why don't you get some for yourself? Apparently you think intelligence is not one of them, but maybe that's because you're around people who don't value intelligence, or maybe because you're not actually possessing it.

Attributes like beauty and wealth are useful because they can be ascertained instantly: beautiful people look beautiful and wealthy people look like assholes. Other human qualities, which are conceivably just as attractive, take time and attention to discover, and who has such time when it's four o'clock and the bars are closing? But, as we used to say in the old neighborhood, I'm not looking for wealth and beauty, just a nymphomaniac who owns a liquor store.

Hope this helps.

Fate_is_a_bitch said:

ok, Jack. let's put it this way. would u date an ugly girl, assuming that you're not ugly yourself.

catrinac said:

I was an ugly teenager and a wannabe in my 20s. Now I'm in my mid 30s and have just accepted reality: I'll never be pretty, no matter which diet I follow, what I wear, or how much surgery I have. (I'm one of the good body/ugly face types). I don't even bother to exercise anymore. I've lost interest more or less in religion, and have barely held any jobs despite a degree and a semi-OK work ethic. I'm ugly and that's all there is to it. I've been ugly my whole life and will die this way. Let's not even discuss my total lack of a love life... it is truly pathetic. I'm even about to drop out of another school due to this reality. I'm ugly and a total loser. My next job is going to be as a maid so I don't have to be around people.... why bother.

Jack said:

I'm glad this has come up. Catrina, there is no reason why a girl with a good body needs to suffer. Where I come from, this condition is known as "butter face" and it is the salvation of the otherwise ugly. Although this puts you into an uncomfortble middle ground, as a woman without a country, not accepted by the beautiful and not truly among the ugly, I feel that it can be a position from which you can do business.

On another hand, to let your whole life go to pieces because you were not born beautiful? I didn't want to have to do it but I will bring out the big guns: Eleanor Roosevelt.

To answer the previous question: I would date an ugly girl if she were a butter face and if no one had to know.

kathy said:

catrina c u are pathetic cause u want people to feel sorry for u. y should u care wat people say about u anyway? who cares/ thats wat people do, they gossip. and if u really r that ugly, plastic surgery can help u, unless u're an alien, or have two heads or smth. i have sum friends who r not really attractive, with cute boyfriends. im sure theres a guy out there for u, who would be proud to be with u, and to show u off to everybody, maybe even marry u. if u carry urself well and dress up, or do ur hair or smth im sure u'll look better. but if u want plastic surgery to feel better about urself, do it only for urself. but i think u have to change inside first. have a little faith.

ps. jack, is that a nickname for Jackass????

Fred said:

re: uglier is sadder -- is that related to tall people are confident, unless it's the result of a growth spurt late in life?

liam said:

I'm a guy. I'm neither ugly or goodlooking. But I've felt ugly. Just as strongly as any woman has felt ugly I think. I don't think women have a monopoly on feeling this way. There definately is alot of pressure on women in the media, but women aren't the only ones judged by their looks. No one escapes lookism. In fact, money in the past would always insulate men from the harsh glare of lookism. But I think it was always there. In fact, I think on a biological level, men have it just as bad if not worse. Women are hot wired to judge men just as much as men do women. But I think women biologically are even less forgiving. Think about it. On a purely superficial level, women judge men much more than men women. A woman may have just one feature that is attractive to a man, and men will pay her attention. Wanted or unwanted, its still attention. On a superficial level, men are real easy. Women don't have to try too hard at all. It doesn't matter where a woman lives, works, what car she drives, if she is classically pretty or not. If she has one feature that is attractive to men...she will get attention. Men on the other hand have to jump through all sorts of hoops, and meet all sorts of criteria to capture a womans attention. A man could have a great body, but be dismissed for an ugly, or average face. Women place MUCH more importance on facial beauty than men. Men may have a stereotypical visual preference for model type women in the media...but in aren't that picky physically, and are much more forgiving than women. Women are always looking for a biological mate, perfect features AND a perfect provider. This causes many conflicts and problems, because as you know, its hard to get it "all". But women have a built in need for perfection that men just don't have. I truly believe women, generally speaking are the more shallow and superficial. But I still love em. :)

Anonymous said:

hey my names Ashleigh im considered pretty and or "HOT" because i have a nice body and im a cheerleader im not some kinda huge slut or n-e-thing but i dont really have very many pplz respect they just see me as a dumb blonde in a cheerleading uniform. I think i even have a lover self-esteem that some of the ppl in my schoo with no friends at all what can i do differently so that ppl will appreciate me for my personallity instead of my bod.

fanta Author Profile Page said:

All my life I have others telling me I am pretty. I didn't think about myself being pretty or not until I was 12. I was hoping to enter a competitive theatre group for youths and every hopeful was super-talented. Then I overheard my aunt telling my mum I would get in because I'm pretty. I did get in.

Later when my mum was having a meeting with my class teacher, she commented on my good academic work and then added, "and she's also pretty...oh, looks like I let slip something that I shouldn't have said". Another teacher once told me "I am lucky" when I was feeling upset about something because "I am taller, prettier and smarter than a lot of my classmates". She added "We teach kids not to judge people based on their appearance, unfortunately that's not true in the real world". My classmates(I studied in a girls' school) also seemed to like me for being "pretty". They were my "personal stylists" and bought me a lot of accessories.

I am happy when told I am pretty. But I wonder if it is something I can use to manipulate people, and were I not pretty, would my friends' opinion on me change?

I come from Hong Kong where the standards of beauty is pretty much western: big eyes, tall nose, small shapely lips. I guess I am considered pretty because I have these features. But after I left for the US for college, I realized the standard of Asian beauty is completely different for the westerners. For example, I personally like Lucy Liu as an actress, but all my friends back in Hong Kong consider her as ugly. Most of my (Hong Kong)friends think of Zhang Ziyi as "pretty cute" but definitely not as stunning as a lot of other actresses back home who doesn't make it to Hollywood. Maybe Asian girls who are considered pretty back home are not as "special" here because a lot of Western girls have big eyes and a tall nose, and the features which are considered ugly by Asians are considered as "exotic" here? (e.g. broad face, small slanty eyes, broad nose, thick lips)

So I guess I would look "plain" or at most "cute but nothing special" to my college classmates? But they like me anyways, both guys and girls. My boyfriend is Russian, and my (Hong Kong) friends said "most asian girls who go out with white guys are ugly, and you are not" because quite honestly -- most asian girls I know who date white guys are quite lacking in the looks department. I am not sure about if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or that it's universal. But I don't care. My boyfriend loves me, and that's enough.
And finally, I can assume people like me mainly because of my personality? And after becoming "plain" from "very pretty", and "slender"(US standard) from "a bit plump"(Asian standard), I really cannot care anymore. Life becomes easier.

Anonymous said:

Hi. I am totally in agreement with liam that men r in no way spared from being ridiculed for being ugly. Throughout high school i have been teased for being ugly, with some remarks being so viscious that i was unable to simply ignore them, being quite a sensitive person. I have to admit i am not the easiest person on the eye with a shapeless wide nose, thick uneven lips, small eyes and thick dark eyebrows. I am now 17, and still find looking at photos from when i was 13, 14, 15 frankly depressing, as i also had a chubby face. Even now i am not yet satisfied with my appearance, but i realise the change has to be mental rather than physical, as plastic surgery is a lie if done out of vanity. Also i know now that my 'im ugly' attitude has only made things worse. With a change in attitude it is possible to become a better friend, son, brother etc. However, now that my face has matured some girls have said i am good looking. I also have a good physique. Furthermore, I have realised that uglier guys than me never got teased about it. My fiend for example is as ugly as u like, but he is happy and makes everyone laugh so they become happy also. The thing is i made myself a victim by believing what those bastards said and letting myself look and feel miserable.

Anyhow I will be 18 soon and an adult so i am determined to draw a line under this whole thing, this page has really helped.

p.s. There are several girls at my college who dont exacly have beautiful faces but r considered attractive as they choose to see thmselves that way. Girls who are not particulary good looking but have good bodies are attractive. Your body is something you have a certain degree of control over and u should never let yourself go.


Jack Author Profile Page said:

Very few of the comments posted to this thread have anything to do with what I was trying to discuss. But I am happy for the attention. Ugly people love my blog!

the only hot reader said:

id be curious to know what your definition of ugly is. it seems to mean a lot of different things for you?

also, me and my friend often have very different tastes in girls. we both think our girls are hot while the other's is ugly. how is this possible?

Jack Author Profile Page said:

There are as many ways to be ugly as there are people in the world. But your second comment shows the real truth: that ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. Or, put another way, as George Carlin used to say, other people's "stuff" is "junk".

Ting said:

yo, my name is Ting,I am from Thai land but most of my ancestors are Chinese. First I am a rapper type but ugly. I just don't see why whenever I kick the ass of the white fuck head in a rap battle when 10 hot chicks are watching they stil treat me like shit, racist mother fuckers to me. I am 19 and have entered many fight clubs and have not been defeated yet. I have practiced rap and the fighting style of Muay Thai for 8-10 hours a day when I was a child. I keep owning the white fucka who rap battles with me to impress their girlfrend and use Muay thai to beat every single asshole who fucks with Dre and I. But I just don't know I still don't get no fucking respect.

Taliesin Stormheller said:

UGLY PRIDE, MUTHAF-KA! My name is Tali, and I hail from the slums of New York. I'm at the vanguard of the ugly-pride movement, battling the dark forces of beauty while still workin' hard on my education. Your site is awesome! It instills a sense of righteousness, of heroic truth in us and gives us the confidence we need to succeed. When I saw the truth about anti-ugly discrimination on the job on 20/20, I knew that the clarion calls of doom were near. Despite my above-average grades, I would never truly make it in society, especially as an ugly womyn. This is the same situation faced by people of color in the Jim Crow era and even today. And as an ugly working-class minority woman, I have 4 strikes against me. This is injust. We must strike down this hydra before it does any more damage. UGLY UBER ALLES!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle said:

Ok just so you guys know if you''ve actually seen a model's face they arn't very pretty they just think they are and that makes them pretty plus the 80 lbs of makeup they apply evryday.

the only hot reader said:


with the 80 pounds of make up, you only leave 3.7 pounds for the rest of their skin and bones... but yea, that sounds about right.

Megan said:

Listen to me now people. no one is ugly. everyone is beautiful in there on special way. You all want to look like pop stars. well half of them look ordinary like us without makeup. most have had plastic surgery. i am a good listener and have had plastic surgery myself and has regretted it ever since. please feel free to contact me on my email adress or to ask questions. lots of love and kisses and hugs. Megan Murray

Cho Busu said:

Your treatise on ugly sounds much like the old theological concept of “Total Depravity”. In this scheme all humans, everywhere and always, fall short, they are totally depraved (ugly).

"Total depravity" (utter ugliness) does not mean that all of us are marauding thieves and rapists. Rather, it means that even the good (beautiful) which we intend is faulty at the most basic level. Our intended good (beautiful) rings false in motive, and is abysmally shoddy in implementation. Most importantly, there is no refinement (plastic surgery, cosmetics) of our ugliness that can correct this apriori condition. It is only, in the traditional Christian sense, mercy and grace which can save us from our ugly (depraved) condition. That is not to say, in the meantime, that we still can’t try our urgent best to get tremendous, albeit temporal, pleasure from large breasts.

Cho Busu

Jack Author Profile Page said:

Finally someone who understands me!

Candace M. Raygoza said:

I've been reading what all of you people have to
say and I just want you to know that even some of
the most beautiful people have been called ugly
Michelle Pfeiffer was told that she looked like a
duck in High school and I knew a group of girls that said Tiffany Amber Thiessen looked like a pig.I honestly rarely ever see anyone that I truly think is ugly. You should not let society
define beauty for you.

Rawr said:

does anyone still visit this site? hi. i'm new here.

haha said:

u pple think you have it is worse for me. Let me tell you the story of my life. I am of indian descent living in a chinese dominated country i.e. Singapore. In Singapore, the standard of beauty is the chinese/oriental, caucasian or pan asian beauty. Indians are by default considered ugly because we are not any of the "superior race" and also "unfortunately" we have tanned/darker skin tones. During my school years, I have had comments such as "you are not that ugly, but you are too dark, you should stay out of the sun"!! Chinese gals ask me "why are u so dark?" I am told "that gals should not be dark skinned because that is ugly". My parents and relatives say i am pretty but alas the society I live in deem me as ugly. To make matters worse,most indian guys dont want to date indian females as they can easily get fairer skinned oriental beauties.
So I totally understand how it feels like to be "ugly". Life Sucks in Singapore for indian females. I think i should move to India since I would just look like everyone else there :)

Bernice said:

I'm a 52 year old white woman living in L.A. For all you twenty somethings complaining about being ugly; just wait til you get to be around my age! I knew I was ugly since I was around 10 years old. Kids made fun of me at school and I always dreamed about the day I would graduate and become an adult. Surely adults would not make fun of people for the way they look, right? WRONG! Now I know why kids act the way they do; they learn from their parents. Adults are no better than kids when it comes down to being mean and vindictive. For the last 42 years people have laughed at me and made comments about my facial appearance. I agree 100 percent with people on this site that say their education has gotten them NOWHERE. I am educated and intelligent but unfortunately my ugliness has prevailed. i have an OK job but I know if I had been born with a prettier face I would be at a higher status and pay level than I have. If you are an ugly woman living in a big city such as L.A. your lot in life is even worse. For the woman who commented on the fact that men who are ugly do better in their lives than ugly women do; you are correct. My brother and I look almost identical; small beady eyes, wide unattractive nose, etc. I know that people have commented on my brother's looks ever since I can remember. Guess what? My brother went to med school and became a Doctor tops in his field! He also married a Doctor. There are ugly women that have done well for themselves in this country. Eleanor Roosevelt and more recently Janet Reno did very well for themselves. But alas, ugly men will always have more opportunities than their ugly female counterparts. This is fact. Well. I have gone on too long for my 1st posting in the ugly reader. Until next time... I have some interesting business ideas that relate to being considered an ugly person in America. I would welcome any and all comments to me at my email address. I would really enjoy receiving emails from "ugly" people living in L.A. I will definitely end this with a little bit about me. I am a gay woman in a relationship with my partner for 29 years. I have like I said a pretty decent job and lots of friends. But one fact remains that I am reminded of every single day; I am UGLY! Please forward email to:

Robert said:

Its much much harder for men. Women want the most attrractive, socially competernt man availble and WILL not forefit anything else until they believe they've found that man. I mean they're the ones that decide to bring children into the world so they have to be more 'picky' by nature to produce competent offspring. Men just look for the slimest, curviest women regradless of her social position. You could be an attractive women whos a top business client or something as lowly as a toilet cleaner but you'll both get an equal amount of offers. The same doesn't apply in men, his job is a large part of his 'appeal', his sexuality.

If you don't have any qualities that are sexy then you quit and accpet the lower-life. The world isn't a meritocracy, one can go and get those degree's from top university's but still not get anywhere as all HIRABLE decisions are made within the 16 seconds you walk into the interview room. If your ugly of looks, average or even slightly above average in terms of ability, then they will 'put you' on hold until a suitable candidiate is found. If they don't find that candidate then they might recall you or just keep recruiting until they've found somebody they feel 'safe' with. The smaller the business the more picky they are about whom they hire.

It all depends on the jobs though as all have their stereotypes. Sales for example prefer taller sophisticated looking men, the same with business and commerce. So i guess height is the most important quaility for a man.

I also think the 'indicators' of ugliness in women are much smaller then those in men. A slim women sounds attractive on paper, but a slim man does'nt. It is just fat or masculinzed that women don't like, for men its more about his height (too short is considered ugly), weight (too overweight or too scrawny), muscle mass, facial angles, hairlines etc etc. You could get a women of 6ft tall and one of 5ft, both would still be considered attractive by men but when its a two men that height...the 5ft footer is seen as a joke, a freak by both men and women.

A mans quality of life is merely a reflection of his genes, if an average man has to work at 110% compared to to 100% his attractive counterparts work at, then a below average looking man has to give 150% just to get noticed let alone get respected and promoted.

olive said:

Hey haha, im a singaporean chinese & guess what i'd rather be dark & beautiful then oriental. But i agree ... pan-asians (or anyone mixed w/ caucasian blood) has it better.
i admire many beautiful indian ladies. so what even if i'm fair skinned? Actually i have a more olive complexion & being fair here means WHITE. i guess im influenced by all the 'white' look everyones after... doesnt help i get stupid lame comments by (guess what) UGLY oriental guys(not the good looking ones) who says that i'm ugly cos i'm not MIXED, too asian looking, yada yada blah blah... seriously i should stop being nice to 'em. Just that,even in an asian populated society, people with caucasian features & fair skin are hailed. weird.

haha said:

hey olive, thanks for your kind remarks. the day i wrote that i was feeling very down indeed. i am sick of getting comments of the way i look. i feel that it is so superficial and shallow :(. I wish i could be that way, life would be easier. But thank you again, for your kind comforting remarks. i guess the grass is always greener on teh other side

krystal said:

im ugly and i sometimes feel like everyone is all ways talking about me but i now know that life is not fair. Im albino im sooooooooo diffrent from the people at my school. i dont know if i spelled it right or not but i look white but im black. im a little over weight im 13 but the only good thing about me is that i can sing good and thats all im known for at school. "the girl that can sing" its great at first but then my name just lingers in the corner of everyone ...
my mom say im pretty but i know she is lying to me. i cant evan get a guy to talk to me i have friends but i know they talk about me. i dont like to go out in plublic i feel like im just wasting everyones time like my mom....
she has not been married,i think thats my fault everytime she gets a boyfreind i have to go in my room sitaround and watch tv.i hate being me. when i was little i use to wish that i wassent me i think about the future and see myself alone...
my sister is so pretty (same mom diff dads) i sometimes hate her she has guys who ador her
i guess there is not much for me to do now but wait but what am i waiting for a life of just being broken down?


English Erica said:

Beauty is a socio-culturally determined thing, but I agree that it is also a gendered thing. I'm pretty Celtic looking (dark features,pale skin), and I seem to get people saying I'm unattractive all the time. I have a degree and I dress well, but for some reason I only get compliments from older women (my mum's friends). I just can't work it out. I'm not desperate or anything. I love films, music and books, but no guy will come near me!

Katie said:

Ugly smart girls actually get a lot more attention because people (men) never notice if a pretty girl is smart they are just looking at her.

Ugly isn't actually a thing. It is a perception. Everyone knows this. Ancient Greeks thought it was hot for girl to have a potbelly, it's shown in all their art & come on, does anyone think all the clothes the queens wore in the renaissance were pretty? No but they did then.

Ugly people always seem to want to be pretty, they think their life will be soooo much better then. Well guess what? Most pretty people think they're ugly. They actually do, they aren't just kidding, they think they are ugly too.
& I don't want to brag but I have been considered pretty, some preople say I could be a model (you never know if they're just saying that though) but life still sucks. I am 16 & haven't had a boyfriend, no boy has had a crush on me as far as I know. No one even cares! Being pretty isn't the ultimate goal. I'd rather actually have a talent, I'm currently trying to see if I have one.

chris said:

I'm actually a bit relieved to see some girls realize guys have it really tough too.

Personally I'm ugly, 22, and I go to college. People stare at me. I'm white, tall, good body, work out, eat healthy. Very outgoing person, lots of friends (none of which are chicks though), and the majority of my friends are "good looking".

You might be thinking to yourself, you don't sound ugly? I have dark bags under my eyes (I get enough sleep), my face is generally redish around the cheeks, I have green eyes, I'm a red head (can barely see my eyebrows), and I have lots of freckles on my forehead.

I tried having a different attitude for about a year, convincing myself I'm good looking. Guess what? Doesn't make squat of a difference.

To all the 'good looking' people on here who say it doesn't matter if you're good looking or not, lol... If only we could switch faces for a week, you wouldn't be saying that anymore.

I'm not racist; But it's somewhat comical that it's improper and rude to treat someone differently based on the colour of their skin, however it's OK to treat someone ugly differently. Last time I checked, you have about as much of a choice of being born ugly as you do being born black, asian, whatever.

I've always been a nice guy my whole life. I still am, too. But... I'm starting to get really pissed off at the way 'ugly' people are treated. I'm rather big, and I'm about ready to start knocking out all these assholes who stare at my face. Emotional pain hurts just as much if not more than physical pain.

Tryn said:

I'm just a person, not pretty, not necessarily ugly, just.....there.
I agree that it is hard for guys as well as girls to be ugly, & that it is wrong to treat ugly people badly. I do not treat ugly people different from other people, I just care about their personality. & chris, at least you ahve a good body. That's half the points. Good job.
Now it must be hard to be ugly, for sure, but a lot of people mature & come to realize that beauty isn't the most important thing. Even if you are so ugly that you never get a date for your whole life, so what? Friends are just as good, in my experience. & anyways, beauty doesn't last. Who has ever seen a good-looking 70 year old? No one. Beautiful people eventually either turn ugly or die in the process.

Tony said:

I am one of the ugliest guys I have ever seen, however, even though a lot of men and women have told me in my face of this fact, many men have told me that they would like to look like me and many women have considered me hot. The fact remains that you are seen as you project yourself, confidence, attitude and intelligence will show an inner beauty much more appealing than a pretty face, if these qualities are combined with class, a good sense of fashion and education it is a guarantee that you will succeed socially. I wouldn't care for a shallow mind, for someone interested in the carcass only because there is much more of me to offer, I am not rich, I don't have anything above anyone, but I do have a 28 year old girlfriend in love with me and I am 40

Andrea said:

Hey. My name is Andrea and I am 17 years old. I am considered ugly. I have never had a serious boyfriend and people always stare at me, and they have a good reason to. I have small uneven eyes, a lopsided jaw, a crooked nose, frizzy curly hair, hairy arms, long sideburns,acne marks, a bad posture, and I used to have a really bad overbite where I couldnt even close my mouth. But thanks to braces I could now close it for a little while.
So, anyway, for a long time people have been calling me ugly and staring at me. There are some people who just cannot stop staring. Literally for hours, they just sit there and stare. I remember when I was little, this one boy would beat the hell out of me just because I was ugly. He would punch me, kick me in the stomach, twist my nose and all that, telling me that I was ugly. And all throughout middle school and the first 2 years of high school, I would hear rude comments about my appearance.
There was this one boy I really liked, but I was too shy to approach him. He later found out I liked him from a former friend of mine who later started to flirt with him knowing that I liked him. After he found out I liked him, he, his friends, and my former friend started talking crap about me, just because I was ugly. It was painful. But, I got over it in time.
I am still ugly now and I may always will be. I know I am unattractive and it doesnt really bother me like it did before. I am ok. Even if I never have a serious boyfriend because of my appearance, i will be fine.
Well, just thought I'd share my story and I hope people will take comfort in knowing that they are not alone in this world...

anne said:

I have read all these comments and it shocks me that being lighter skinned is considered to be more beautiful than Asian/Indian skin. I am not pretty just plain and I accept that. I feel so sorry for you Andrea because NO-ONE should be subjected to what you have by this loser of a boy. Being plain or ugly as you may define yourself means you are a loser. Looks fade in time and talent will out last beauty. If you let people get you down, let those bullies start to tear apart your self-worth part by part then it means a great person is being destroyed. I look at people and see how they are not just facial features. Like some people on here I have a sibling who is good-looking, tall, slim, small nose, pretty dark eyes, long dark hair etc and I am short, plump, bump in my nose but I just accept who I am. People deserve respect if they are kind, warm, friendly and lovely human beings. Beauty has been defined in different ways throughout history and cultures eg look at pictures in Europe in the 18th century and women with VERY curvy figures and well to put it bluntly fat were the ideal then. Why do we let ourselves, mainly in Western society,be ruled by some faceless magazine editors, designers etc and think we have to be 5 ft 9 with polished skin, perfect hair, the whitest teeth, full lips, long slender legs and high cheeks bones with big eyes for women and a six pack and chiselled jaw for men be the epitomy of beauty? I think Kate Winslet, Lucy Liu, Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child and Queen Laifah are beautiful and they are not all fitting into those categories. No-one looks like those air brushed, made over, with right lighting celebs/models its impossible! There are some natural beauties like Halle Berry, Kelly Rowland, singer Jamelia, Lucy Liu, Liv Tyler (now she is "big" by Hollywood standards but I think she is far more beautiful than say someone similar to her with long darkhair like Catherine Zeta-Jones) but these models are usually plain without make-up and starve themselves and to me I cringe when I see them on the catwalk with ribs showing. Yes women can be shallow and studies have shown that women ideally like a man with a swimmer physic with the broad shoulders etc, but want a kind, protective man apart from at the time when their bodies are in the right part of their cycle to concieve the best and they want a tall, good looking man for the father but a protective lovely man to bring them up. Ugly/plain people are no less deserving and SHOULD NOT be put down. Beauty does not make a person better and even though my sister is very pretty I am glad I am who I am, because she has a hot temper, changes just to fit in with her boyfriend's family and she is in her late 20s, let herself get led astray in her teens and always thought she had to have this/do that to be popular and still insecure. The worst part of my body is my breats that are too big and whilst longer legs would be nice so I can be taller (im 5 ft 3) I think to myself, "I'm not starving, I have a loving family, I have few drops of intelligence, I am not blind, I can walk and live in a free country". Remember beauty may give people an easier ride, but its only supeficial gloss and once people are tired of something only on the surface it can lead to a lonely place with no depth, true friends/happiness etc. I am plain, overweight (my fault I'm so lazy where exercise is concerned), my nose has a bump and I have no shapely legs, and too much fat on me, but I have intelligence, kind heart, freedom, people who care about me and I am not living in some hell. No-one can help how they are born, but nasty people, small-minded ones can sure as hell get a life because they are the sad, pathetic loser who have nothing better to do than to belittle someone else. They have nothing I would want what with their spiteful personalities and I was bullied at school not necessarily, because of how I looked, but because I did my work, kept quiet, wasn't an easy slut and nor did I dress in a particular way. Those who bullied me were either not very clever, one ended up doing time for man slaughter, were so shallow and though some were pretty they made me laugh inside because they were so sad. People with either large builds, wonky teeth, frizzy hair, braces, thick glasses, large noses or considered geeky/bad looking well you can turn into a swan on the inside and get ahead so don't you dare let anyone get you down THEY HAVE NO GOD GIVEN RIGHT JUST BECAUSE OF HOW THEY LOOK. Men and women are superfical I think and can be just as equally and guys can be so cruel esp when out togther and judging poor girls who are out for the night and girls can be cruel, cold and bitchy scrutinising and judging girls on their clothes/looks. To those who live in a place where lighter skin/western features are considered to be more attractive don't ever listen to these small minded, racist idiots. White skin/western features are not better than say Chienese, Thai, Shrilankan, Indian etc skin tone/features. Beauty is warmth, humanity, selflessness, humanity, kindness and respect for others not a face that will soon grow older and lose looks as age takes over.

smurf said:

I'm a ugly woman. I hate: 1. That no man has ever been interested in me. 2. when attractive men talk to me they don't give any eye contact. 3. Some people particulary attractive women treat me like I have a lower intellect than they do. 4. I still believe in the "one". 5. That the one may never happen. 6. That I may never have a family or a husband. 7. That I am a virgin at 32. 8. That I am also fat and very short 9. That it doesn't matter how hard I try in my career etc, the attractive person will always excel without even trying 10. I hate those people who yell out obscene comments from the safety zone of their car's. Things like hey dog and throw beer bottles at me when I'm walking home from work at 11:30 at night. 11. I hate comments like you have a real nice personality.


SMURF said:

It really pisses me off when men don't give any eye contact when speaking with me just because I am deemed ugly. Are they having a panic attack because I may take the simple act of eye contact as a vow of undying love or a proposal of marriage.

guy said:


i hope you can find some self-satisfaction in knowing that idiots that yell stuff/throw stuff will get theirs back.

idiots like that will end up getting the living hell kicked out of them because of their mouths, and they deserve it.

hey said:

I'm a girl (15).
I live abroad (B) and go back to my home country (A) in the summer for holidays.
When i was 14 i met a boy in A and he became my boyfriend for about a week - my first bf! evry1 thought i was so damn pretty.
When i came back to B, for the whole year, i became so UGLY!!!!!! acne scars, bags under the eyes, black heads - the whole wonderful package. i used medication but that just made my skin peal (sensitive skin...). one tip - don't use makeup over peeling skin - dont.
I hadn't been talkin to my boyfriend online or nething that year but evryone said he was lookin forward to seein me the next summer! PANIC STARTED.
nothing i could do. The coming summer, i went back to A (family holiday no choice), we met, he saw my face - he got another girlfriend.
I still love him ......... but if i ever became pretty again ( i wont, but in theory ) and he asked me out - I WON'T EVEN POLITELY TURN DOWN THE PRICK!
I'm so broken hearted, i wish i was ugly from the begining so i didn't go out with him in the first place.

puff said:


better than u said:

fat ass ugly cows should pay to be alive

idk said:

ok ur all depressin me n take it from someone whos not really ugly im not messin
with u i wud date a guy if hes not attratcive if hes funny n had a pretty good body n wuz fun to b around if there wuz a extremely hot guy with no personality i wudnt even waste my time

Anonymous said:

im a teen and @ my school some people call me ugly, but if i was to go to the nearby city every guy is trying to talk to me and go out with me a few boys have crushes on me and all my friends that are girls say i'm pretty, its weird b/c i'm gorgeous in one place and not in the other .

Charity said:

I'm a 23-year-old woman, I don't believe I'm ugly, but I was dating this really hot guy last year and he said to me one day, "You know, my friends think you're too ugly for me to date. They always say that I shouldn't have dumped the girl I was with before you, because she's so much better. Like, they hate you and would not stop telling me about how ugly you are! So, I just wanted to let you know that I'm back with this other girl who's way prettier so I don't get so much flack from my friends." I was stunned and shocked at how this guy could be so rude, after we had been intensely dating for 4 months. That was exactly a year ago, and I can't say I ever recovered from that statement. Not just one person thought I was ugly, but AN ENTIRE GROUP HAD ALL AGREED. I'm so ashamed, I haven't looked a man in the eye or flirted with anyone in literally 12 months. And that's hard because I used to be a slut and thought I was lucky to get so much attention. But what can you do? I have a very good female friend who is all tatooed and pierced all over her face, and she gets SO much more attention than I do when we go out...I don't understand it! She ALWAYS has a date for Valentine's Day.

uglychampion said:

For all the ugly ppl in here, don't let anyone get you down because of this one thing you have no control over. If anything you should parade your ugliness and put it openly on display just to piss others off. Nothing irks ppl more than an ugly person with high self-esteem. It gets under their skin b/c they can't get to you. See the reason, ppl put you down for the way you are is b/c deep down they feel just as ugly as you. If they can get you to feel like shit it makes them better than you. So don't give them the satisfaction! When ppl say u're ugly either ignore them completely or kindly thank them and say something back like "Wow, you're so great, "I'm just thankful I had the chance to talk with someone so much better looking than myself" or "I commend you on your ability to point out the obvious". Most of the time they will just look at you with this stunned look on their face and they won't know what to say back. If you do this everytime someone says something mean or hurtful about the way you look, I guarantee, you will start feeling empowered and the whole ugly thing wont bug you as much. Always remember that you are a good person inside and let that person shine to the outside world as often as possible. Don't let their ugly words turn you into a "real" ugly person or someone you don't even like yourself. Just be confident, keep your head up and keep laughing in their faces as a bold and unmistakable FU to everyone who doesn't accept you just the way you are.

Anonymous said:

i'm ugly. everyone calls me ugly at skewl. i feel depressed, i want to commit suicide, i'm actually not ugly,,,its just that at some occasions I'm very pretty but at skewl .......plain boring and ugly. I wish i could talk to someone who feels the same way i do. i am ugly...........

gods joke said:

hey everyone. i bet i have the power to make everyone in here look GORGEOUS standing next to me. yes i am ugly to no avail. i am a black female with big ass lips with a mouth that brings attention not to itself but to my face. my skin is not clear, a have a big forehead. lets face it i look like shit. i hope a made someone's day. because you are all beautiful. just not me.

unknown said:

I Am So Ugly!

cj said:

also just to add some more:

I'm not fat, but I am a fucking ugly dog piece of shit. I didnt always look this way...
It does matter what other people think of our looks. Not unless we live in some cave isolated form the rest of society, it matters. Everyone would like to be noticed. It sucks when you see someone attractive...only to imagine that they would be intrested in you.
GO, GO, GO WITH A SMILE, Beauty comes from within,You are only as pretty as you feel....You are your worst critic, beauty comes form the eye of the beholder...blah blah blah Its all bull crap.
Oh well...this is my first time visiting this message board. I found it by putting a search for "im so ugly" in google. I actually feel a tad better to see that Im not the only one who feels this way.

Great site

Anonymous said:

i need plastic surgery!!!!!!!

Richard said:

There is no such thing as beauty or ugliness in this life. These things are concepts that have been created by the human mind, they don't exist in any other place! Your eyes only see what YOU want them to see. See the true nature of things and your life will be beautiful, and this type of beautiful is far from what the retched minds of this earth have ever thought up.!!

KG said:

Ok, wow. I'm not sure if I am ugly, but here's my story.

The other night I went to a fraternity party at my university. I saw the hottest guy I've seen at this university EVER at the party, dancing a couple feet away from me. Thing is, we have made eye contact on campus a lot, although I have no idea who he is. (He looks like Jude Law.)

My friend went to the party with me, and I asked him his opinion on my looks, the guy who looks like Jude Law's looks, and the looks of a guy I had randomly made out with at another party. My friend--I think he's being generous-- said I was a 9 out of 10 on the Berkeley--where I go to university-- scale (which is 7 on the normal scale), the Jude Law look-a-like is a perfect 10 (8 on real scale), and the guy I made out with is a 7.5 on the Berkeley scale (5.5 on the real scale).

Then my friend added that because those guys are white, and I am Eastern Asian, they get additional bonus points. So basically although I am a 9, and the other guy was a 7.5, he becomes a 9 simply because he's white.

So I admitted the Jude Law look-a-like was out of my league, but then he becomes even more out of my league because he's white!

This has bothered me a lot, and despite being seen as pretty--and many people say, particularly for an Asian girl--it makes me want to be Caucasian. Basically it would be okay for me to date the Jude Law look-a-like if I were white but still a 9, rather than being Asian and a 9.

This sounds bad, but this is truth.

ian said:

Be yourself ,live your dreams and why be bothered about what people think of you, beauty isnt measured on the outside,age makes sure of that!life is short why worry about it ,people will always judge by materialstic ways an will always go for smething that looks good...but a skoda is far more rliable an well worth investing in than a sports car.....the way we all behave makes us all pretty ugly....cant wait to be die an go to a decent place full of reall beauty

bookyone said:

Hi all,

I think this is sad when as a society we penalize others for something they/we can't control like appearance. I am an ugly woman in her late 30s (bad skin, flat chested, no figure, the whole gamut) and I know it's not going to get any better. It's just too bad men are such superficial jerks that they can't see past a woman's appearance to the beautiful person she is on the inside. If men weren't superficial I'd be married right now instead of waiting to grow old and die all alone.

kira said:

I have a high forehead, and my skin can be bleh but that's what makeup is for.

All the rest of me is fine, pretty eyes, pretty nose, small but full, pouty lips, thin frame.

Even these two frigging flaws nag at me.
I don't even think it's ugliness anymore, I think our society has ocd. o_O anyone agree?

who said:

I am a very good looking woman
but i have hirsuitism
a hair problem which causes excessive hair growth all over my chin and breasts and chest...

there is nothing i can do about it except pluck it..

i hate it because i almost decieve people..
im very good looking when im "de-haired"
so basically...i can never tell my bf or any bf the truth about my condition or they will leave me..

its pretty hopeless...

that i cant really embrace or feel good about my natural beauty due to some hair problem because in this society women should be hairless..

also i have a masters...i almost compensate for my problems with my education..hahaahaha... is this true? are ugly people forced to educate themselves while dumb blonde blow up dolls end up richer than us without any education besides how to pimp rodeo drive?

fucking_ugly said:

Gods joke, I know how you feel. Seeing all the other people who are ten times better looking and who most of all, have the thinnest lips ever makes me even more depressed. Being a black female as well, I have very large lips and it pisses me off how everyone thinks it's funny to make fun of them. I really can't wait to grow up and get them reduced or something. You think you're ugly? Then you haven't seen me. Trust me! I'm beyond hideous.

Fangdian said:

I'm a college guy. A lot of people tell me that I have beautiful-expressive eyes and good nose. Even my eyebrows are naturally shaped and good. I like to here that, but at the same time I feel sad because I have very thick lips. My lips don't match my face and make me look ugly. When I talk, i see that people observe my lips. that makes me very self-conscious and embarresed.

I want to reduce the thickness of my lips. Is that possible? Is there any guaranteed safe surgery? Someone please let me know.

reply thru posting a comment on this page. thanks.

Laura said:

Im one of those Pretty/ugly people. From front on Im better than average but from the oblique angles Im less attractive than average. I have considered getting cosmetic surgery and still am, but I am worried about ruining the frontal view of my face. It sucks because at first glance I look good, but in animation, etc I look ugly at times

Terry said:

Are you guys for real! You’re all sucked into the beauty myth.
You think you can only get your power with beauty. Look at Marilyn Monroe she was beautiful & was everybody’s toy. No one can be irredeemably ugly, dumb, socially inept, emotionally void & devoid of personal power all at the one time or are there a few hands going up.
Remember beauty is skin deep & that’s what counts superficiality is everything.
Oh & remember we are what people tell us we are. So aim for the bottom of the pile.
Let them step on you on their way up.

Dominic said:

Being ugly is one thing, but lack of self-confidence is not due to being ugly. It's more an excuse used to justify lack of self-confidence. I have been ambling through my life, getting a degree, getting a toned up physique etc. Only treating the symptoms but forever ignoring the cause. One day you realise that in spite of all you have done you are no better off.

This is a programming that we have all grown used to but feel is outside our power to change. In reality you can change, albeit in small subtle modifications you make to your life on a day to day basis.

Perception is like a lens, at the minute it is muddied and unclear. If you confront your demons the lens will clear and you will notice that people begin to see you as you now see them.

I'm Rooting for You!

Cryingstill said:

We all have self esteem issues. I am not attractive but there is something about myself that is undeniably beautiful. Ima not the prettiest or the smartest or the tallest but I am just me . I love that about myself. You all should as well...

Terry said:

Dominic, Cryingstill- good to you all!You give me brave heart.

We can't choose to be born "beautiful" but we can choose not to be a loser.

Any one care to tell me what they think beauty is.

Dominic said:

Hi Terry,

I think that beauty, like time, is nothing more than a measure. Like all measurements we make, we need a point to measure from. You are that point!

Thus beauty is simply a measurement of how you feel about yourself in comparison to someone or something else. For example, I would say that you are intelligent, if you hold ideas/opinions that I consider equal to or above those of my own. This might not necessarily be true, but it is the way our brains function.

It can be argued that there is a fixed concept of beauty i.e. those people who have symmetrical features and indeed this is the view of society. But this is quite misleading since society consists of numerous individuals. So it eventually does boil down to what you and I as individuals consider beautiful in relation to ourselves.

The brilliant thing about all this is that you can choose to escape this whole silly game of who is and who is not beautiful. Try to learn more about yourself, your good points so to speak and improve on them. Anything you dislike about yourself that you can change, attempt to do so. Only then will we stop making these inaccurate measurements.

Give it a try :) There is nothing to lose and I have nothing but faith in you!

Terry said:

I do believe you are right there. Also I would like to add that I think beauty, as spoken in the context of this site is about power. Those who are declared outside the norms accepted by the group are disenfranchised.
So, as I see it, we “uglies” must develop power in other ways such that the group then respects us for what we are. Ability (or Power) = respect. Of course one can also
go hide in the shadows & let the years crumble around one (I see some doing that)
not living the life to which they are entitled to.
A shame I think, -especially when it may be some behaviourally conditioned thing like self esteem which is the only obstacle.
So guys - take a stand now.

Boilermaker21 said:

My god,
Is looks that important in the real world. I am 21 year old guy living in mid west america, I am originally of an Indian descent. Well, to all the ladies let me tell you ppl something. Our looks woud matter as long as we are young, and once these wonder years are over it wont matter a thing. But, its our personality thats gonna live with us forver. Being qualified, an open mind, appreciating diversity, politness, honesty and respect to elders is what real beauty is about. Trust me, my x girlfriend was one of the prettiest ladies you can ever met, but she being rude and a high attitude, made her the most ugliest girl in the world. If one is really pretty they are more likely to get a feeling of superiority when they are compared to others. And the day one realizes he/she is externally beautiful, is the day you loose all your beauty. Trust me guys and girls my experience has taught me one thing to get a girlfriend or a boyfriend you need looks, but to get a true life long lover you need a true honest pure heart. So ladies and gentleman no matter how you look, you should never feel less appreciated or talented then anyone else. And also never discriminate anyone just for those unimportant looks......Take care all of you

Terry said:

From all that has been said I conclude that not being beautiful is a many faceted diamond. I hope we all can see this in our own situation, in our own way & in our own time.
thank you all.

mogu said:

I am mogu. I am a man of great ugliness. When I was young, I was brought up very sheltered by my parents. All my needs were cared for, and all I had to do was study and do well on my exams.

I studied and did well and I grew up. I can now earn a living, but the fact that I am extremely ugly remains. There is nothing I can do about it.

I am a short man of 5ft 5in, and I am fat. I have dark oily skin and I have a huge waist 37''. A 37'' waist my a look good on a 6ft 5in guy, but I am only 5ft 5in. My waist is exactly half my height, and I look more like a cube.

Needless to say, I have never had a girlfriend, and I will probably never get married. Now that I am entering the 32nd year of my pathetic life, I am asking myself, what was the use of all that nonsensical studying if I am destained to be lonely on account of my ugliness. I see young guys with half my education dating beautiful women, and I can't even get a girl who looks like a goat to go out with me. All that stupid education to survive and make a living is stupid was a waste of time. What is the point in going on in life if you have to lead it all alone.

Dominic said:

Hi Mogu,

I don't want this to sound rude in any way, but if you go about life relying on people and props to use as emotional crutches you will only meet with disappointment.

Education - I agree, mostly stupid. The real education begins with understanding your circumstances and how you react to them. Its easy to push the blame onto the "women who won't" date you, "the society that won't" accept you etc.

But...when will you accept yourself?

Don't give up!


Terry said:

Mogu an old quote for you-

Two men looked through bars
One saw mud the other stars.

Where are you looking?

Cindy said:

I have it bad. See pretty and fun isen't good enough. You have to be tall and blonde to get men. I'm short ,thin, pale, have dark hair, and a pretty face. I get compliments from people, but guys only like prissy blonde tall girls. which I am not. I feel that type of woman is a discrace. I have alot of male friends. You would'nt think I would be approcing adult hood with out my first kiss.

BonaToVada said:

Wow, anyone that can throw out morrissey lines must be beautiful regardless of their physical appearance. Besides, all girls, even if they are considered "ugly", have at least one feature that is quite beautiful, be it their laugh or the way they write their name. You just have to look harder thats all.

Christa said:

I'm a very attractive woman and I've been my whole life. Guys have always been attracted to me although I am not the tall blonde,model type.

I have a deep knowledge of beauty and believe that even though the world perceives me as cute or beautiful etc. , I understand that physical attributes really do not matter when you seek a LONG term patner.

Men seem to loose sight of what REALLY matters in this life. They opt to live a male fantasy that either does not exist- it is pure lust -- a House without a foundation can not stand long.

I would rather have an UGLY man on the outside whose heart is beautiful (because I would eventually find him attractive based on his inner beauty) than to have hot looking guy who cheats, lies or is a general ass.

Ask yourself who you'd rather have, bet you'd agree wih me! :-)

mj said:

I agree with cj's post. If your ugly, it does not matter. I'm not fat and workout but it doesn't matter. No looks, no personality means no chance with women. 1st impressions always counts. I know that is a fact of life. A while back , I overheard a conversation between 2 guys in their 20's which women would describe as cute. There were talking about about their romantic experiences with various women. It was kind of funny at 1st then I realize I'm twice as old and have nothing talk about. That was depressing.

Anonymous said:

let me tell you something, being alone, lonely, unwanted, ugly can MAKE a condition, a spirit, depraved. All is vanity. And if you just partly qualify for the play your outlook tends not to be so bleak, and you say it doesn't matter, etc. It is just about ALL that matters as far as getting into the door for emotional experience, and this is what LIFE is about. I was a decent looking kid, but as I matured my nose didn't turn out so well. The bridge between the eyes is wide. It makes me look almost mean, it just stands out. My ears are a bit big, and my face is small. Also my body is what they call scrawny. When I was younger I worked out, and wasn't scrawny at all, but after time, and with my face I guess, it just seems pointless. Also I have a boy's face, yet I'm hairy. My features are ectomorphic, bigger feet and hands. There's about nothing I see good in myself. Unfortunately I had a brother who got all the good genes I guess-- was a sports star, dated the good-looking cheerleader, etc. I always had plenty of confidence. And yet things just never worked out, even though I put the effort in. And I've also heard the obligatory, good personality, comment. I don't pretend to be good. Desire doesn't stop because you're not attractive to people. It becomes more of a torment and a humiliation. Something that has nowhere to hide. I think it was Solomon who said, "All is Vanity". It's really not far from the truth. O how I fret over my nose--that one feature just spoils my whole face. Neither of my parents have it, just kinda came into the world with me, so I guess I can't really blame them. If you can't find someone in this world and can't share yourself sexually than everything does become kinda pointless. To tell the truth I was happiest when I was alone and getting high all the time. Not happy, but it was a decent form of escapism. No one even realizes they judge, it's an instinct, and ugly people are no more immune to it that good-looking people. How often does a good-looking girl make an ugly guy smile? always. And it's the same vice-versa. It is a Darwian affair. It's why I laugh when they talk of racism, or some flake yells out for peace. The only racism there will be in the end, and truly the only real racism there's ever TRULY been is based on looks. I'd be happy if my face had character. But my nose is just wide and shapeless. It sucks really. It is a trap door that can't be opened. The only thing that might make ugly or unattractive people more intelligent is that they see it all more clearly. Trust me it will never change. And the only spirited response an ugly person can have is jealousy, and that can turn into rage. You really almost have to drop out. And it is harder to find a job. Whose to blame? no one. It is down to the bottom instinct, just the way it goes. I honestly think the world would be a better place if everyone were good-looking or at least attractive enough to qualify for the play, there's your peace if you want it i guess. You know, I look at my face and it seems kinda strange, unfortunate looking, maybe even funny looking, which is much worse than just ugly. I can't say that I've received a hard time about it. Most people are fairly nice, and they'll relate to you regardless. It doesn't mean they don't see or consider it. And it does seem true to me that it's all a power play-- very Darwian, and it helps for man to have a powerful look, a woman to have a beautiful look. Hell, there's lots of looks that do OK, but I've come to the conclusion that mine isn't one of them. And truly, it's not OK. And because I realize this doesn't make me better, it actually just comfirms my suspicions that because of this I'm less. There's nothing I can really do. But I don't give out free smiles or free laughs. It's kinda turned me into drywood-- like I realize too much, and finding out the truth about things far from saving me, more or less damned me. It's a mean world. I guess you get a dog and get high and wait til it ends.

Anonymous said:

hi ugly people

jane Author Profile Page said:

why don't all you people just fuck each other & get it over with?

mj said:

I agree with Anonymous post about looks being Darwian. That is the nature choosing who should have offspring and who should not. The only guys I know or heard who have multiple kids by one womnan or more are average to good looking. Some one like me well, there is no way in hell.
A while back, a friend felt sorry for me and tried to introduce me to someone. The magic word is tried. I sat across the romm from this person and her friend. I saw them looking my way and started giggling. They were both average to good looking. After about a couple minutes, they both left the room. No introduction, no nothing. By now I should know the drill and know the score. But it was still depressing.
Holidays are not a happy time for me either or anybody is ugly. You don't worry about going to parties or dressing up to go out when your ugly. It would be too depressing watching couples kissing and holding hands. What ever holiday spirit I had has gone a long time ago.
I'm greatful I do have a decent job and in good health and there a lot of people who have it a lot worse than me.
But, there is a big hole in my life that will probalby never get filled. It is hard for to watch romantic movies. All those movies have beautiful people with perfect smiles. I don't need to be reminded or hopes raised about something I'll probably never have.

LonelyBird said:

Always been about average, but i am 20 years old and still have yet to lose my virginity. My friends are all much more attractive than I, and had no problems in their dealings with the opposite sex and that was always discouraging for me. I've had one serious girlfriend, and she refused to become involved with me on that level. I had quite the stutter when I was younger, so it was awkward to say the least.

I was constantly teased and beaten up in school, and to this very goddamned day I cannot seem to find any solace or any retreat from the teasings of the physically gifted. In 2nd grade i started taking karate and got into quite a bit more fights over it, and won most of them. People left me alone entirely from then on.

Yet even in my workplace or every time i go to a party or social event, every girl i work up the courage to talk to gives me the "please don't make this awkward and just walk away" look. I don't even give a fuck any more. It blows that I wasn't born a good-looking guy, that the good lord chose not to bless me with charm, guile, or any mode of attracting a mate. All I can say to the big man upstairs is, "thanks for nothing. Have a crappy weekend and I hope your house burns down."

Seriously, my life is completely and utterly without meaning or purpose and every time i think I may have found someone who doesn't care what i look like and just likes me for me, it winds up biting me in the ass. Each and every time I see a light at the end of the tunnel, the great sphincter of reality shits on me. Say what you want, being ugly fucking sucks and I can't wait for this measely little existence of mine to be over.

Nice guys finish last. Assholes finish first. Ugly guys aren't even allowed to race. Fuck it.

arlene said:

I always wonder if I'm ugly.I'm a 15 year-old girl . When I was in grade 6 & 7 several friends said that I was ugly. Now in grade 9, a friend said that I was pretty.So I have no idea about my look. Or I'm changing gradually ? But I've never thought that I'm pretty, but I still believe in the story of an ugly duckling. Do you guys think so ?

Rich said:

Hey, ya'll. Self-confidence is the key - build your life first, regardless of what people say. If you love yourself, people will begin to love you as well. I'm not particularly good looking, but when I beam with confidence, I become unstoppable! Live and learn. Smile! :)

Lonely Bird said:

Self Confidence? I could have the self confidence of a pissed off bull and still wouldn't bee able to get a date. I see all these skinny, symmetrical assholes just waltz up and have it so easy.

Build my life...based off of what? What is the point if one is unable to share it with anyone else? I've tried everything. Now I just don't care any more. I'm close to just offing myself.

In highschool I was never asked out. All these girls would hand me notes to give to my pissed me pisses me off today just thinking about it. I have to constantly listen to women bitch about how men are assholes and then watch helplessly as they go out of their way for another dickhead. It's getting very old and I'm tired of the trend. It sucks being stuck in the "friend-zone" or the "he's like a brother..."

My head is about to blow the fuck up.

mj said:

Just wait until you get into your 40's when those same people you knew in high school and college are all married or least been a few serious relationships. They talk about theirs son's new girl friend while you never really had one. Or you have nieces and nephews that are married. For myself, that when things really hit hard me. I realize that that how far behind I am.
I remember watching the movie, The 40 yr old Virgin. I say to myself that guy is way too good looking to be a virgin. Some woman would have got to him by him by no later than 25 yrs old. I've seen women be very aggressive when they really want to pursue a guy. Especially if the guy is good looking. But suppose if they really put an ugly guy such as myself in the picture. The movie maker would not make any money.

... said:

Im 16. Id say I am not too good looking. Im half chinese, and half english. So, I look like some WHAT -ARE- YOU person. My eyes are not slanted but have only small lids, my nose is not majorly broad but still overweight, my lips are thick but nicely shaped. The only thing I like about my face is my chin and lip region. I want to make my eyelids bigger and nose thinner. Its just so hard not knowing where you fit. I live in Australia so noone can tell Im half really, just asian but better (or not). I dont even fit in asia either. Its just all gay.

Its like; 'um youre asian, good looking guys with an asian is seriously downgrading their rep and like a sign of major desperation.' Its so bad. When theres a new guy/girl at school;

"Is he hot?"
"He's asian.."

Thing is, the halfie look for guys is really good. My brother is very good looking. But me. Whenever we meet my dad (english) side of the family, its always the same;

"Hes so handsome! Aww!"
"She takes after her mum a lot" Cause I hell love taking after my mum.

Its just so much worse because of my really big family problems and pressure to excel. All because my asian mum wants me to be the best, wants me to do everything a parent should do, and favours my brother over me to no boundaries. Its sounds like Im taking it the wrong way, but believe me Ive balanced it all out and Im on the trash end. I got %100 in geo&trig, NOONE in my year got that, of 300 of those nerds, only I did. What do I get as praise? "By the way, no sleepovers ever again, I dont trust you". She has hit/beat me since I can remember.

And when all this abuse is given to me, I feel like; Im asian and all those problems in society that come with it, because of her. Im constantly sad, because of her. Im under so much stress and anxiety, because of her. I am so restricted and unhappy, because of her. And after all that, I still love her to no end.

In Vino Veritas said:

Good of you to flub the one funny line George Carlin ever uttered, Jack. He said, "Your shit is stuff. Other people's stuff is shit."

Actually, he didn't say it that way. He reversed the order. But that's bullshit, because that's putting the punch line first. My way is better.

Good of George Carlin to flub the one funny line that he never quite uttered.

Jack said:

Even when you are trying to outdo me you are still a good straight man. Naturally I couldn't quote Carlin verbatim, since that's the word Carlin won't let me say. Anyway, as Picasso said, good artists copy, great artists flub.

mj said:

Being ugly and slow is depressing. My friend R was talking to me about his 1st girl friend in 7th grade and his 1st kiss a while back. It was kind of painful to listen about his experiences. He is good looking,college educated, good personality and all the qualities women are looking for. Me,I'm his opposite. At least, I'm college educated. The closest thing I had to girl friend was over 15 years ago and no
kiss. The situation was pathetic. She found someone better which is not hard to do. Guys might do the pursuing but women do the choosing at least when you are ugly. When you get my age and single, women assume you either gay or a loser. Well, I'm not gay. So that narrows things down. Ugly face and little social skills are not what women are looking for. When you are ugly, nice guys always finish last. The notion of a lovable loser is just BS.

Mr. wana be perfect said:

Looks n personality both matters...every single ppl who gt fucked up by gud lukin ppl in relation will choose personality over luks in deir nxt relationship bt dey r fucked up neway n luks ofcourse matters wen it comes 2 sex. bt some humans r nyc dey do take ugly ppl as deir luvd 1s bt still crave for gud luks n stuff 4 bein ugly really sux n im not ugly neider am i gud lukin.......

jane said:

looks like you should reserve, jackie ol' boy.

mj said:

Another Valentine Day has come and gone. I amaze myself how little that day means to me. At this point in my life why try. No looks, no personality means no chance with women. I overheard a conversation with my female co-workers. She was complaining about her teenage son getting all these phone calls from girls from his school. It was so sad it was funny. This guy receives more phone calls from women in a week that I had received in my so-called life.

catrinac said:

I posted on here about three years ago. Since then I've had plastic surgery and no, it did not make me any prettier. I am still a big butter face, have gone out once and gotten laid once in three years, and have also been unable to find a good job. Today I am actually pushing wheelchairs with the fuckers at the airport partly because of the economy and my lack of education and experience, but also because I'm just plain fucking ugly. Face it people, looks are all that matter if you are female. Looking good and attractive should be the number ONE consideration for females everywhere. Education and work should be considered secondary priorities. If a girl is ugly she should get plastic surgery, counselling and as much help as she can to be prettier IN HER EARLY 20s, SOON AFTER GRADUATING HIGHSCHOOL. I'm thinking Chelsea Clinton, who went from ugly to tolerable before age 25 and who today has it all: a livable, semi-pretty look, degrees, prestige, confidence, etc. She has everything. If her parents hadn't funded he nose surgery and dental work she would be nothing today, DESPITE HER ACADEMIC SUCCESS. Looking better helped Chelsea. I haven't been able to go forward all these years because I'm ugly. I might have to shell out a lot of $$$ for a second nose job and even then I will never be able to fully erase the scars of what being ugly did to me all these years. I don't have a life worth living ;no ugly person does!!!!

Crack Addict said:

I would just like to say...
fuck all of you.

Have a nice day!

anonymous said:

i wouldnt say im ugly, i do believe
some what that i am pretty but
i always have thought i could look better in my face.
all my friends and i mean literally
everyone says im gorgeous,beautiful,cute,
etc. but i never believe any of there compliments. i have never had trouble getting guys i mean i even cover my hair [cause im muslim and i wear the hijab] and i still
get boys even with covering my hair 24/7
BUT...i have this issue with my eyes
it started my sophomore year in
highschool when i started noticing it
my eyes are really eye
is smaller then the other and slightly
higher, although i have recieved compliments from some people saying i have beautiful eyes i never believe it, it just doesnt help my self esteem about my uneven eyes. I especially cant stand how my uneven eyes come out even more in pictures so it makes it harder to take photos sometimes. and how when i put eyeliner and makeup on it makes my uneven eyes even more noticeable.

Because of this problem I get really insecure talking to people cause i get worried that they'll be able to see the uneveness in my eyes. and they probably do but dont say anything but i sometimes wonder if it makes me seem ugly? i just dont know...and its bugging me..i just wish that my eyes were just a slightly bit more even then i'd be fine with everything..but thats what always makes me insecure about my looks

mj said:

A long time ago, I worked at a local dept. store as a sales clerk. From time to time, a mildly retarded man in his 30’s use to shop there and his mother. The man and I use talk about various topics especially football. We were about the same age. The one thing we had in common that we were both ugly. One day, he asked me why did he did not have a girl friend. I did not have the heart to tell him the cold hard truth so I lied to him like a politician during an election. Told him they were plenty of women out there that were available for him and other feel good BS. I’m pretty much bottom of the barrel as far as being attractive. I had no dates in high school or college. Ironically, he was asking me advice about women. Kind of like the blind leading the blind. Well after our conversation he left feeling good and myself feeling depressed. He died a few years ago. I wonder sometimes if I did the right thing
I know he probably died not ever having a girl friend or any romantic experience. In real life, the guys like my friend and me usually wind up alone which is completely opposite
the happy ending promoted in the Hollywood movie. I wonder if he knew I was lying to him when I gave my advice ?

greg said:

get over it.

Gaspard ? said:

Mj, if you ever come back to this board and read this, I think what you did (regarding the mildly retarded man) was ok.

And believe me, I feel your pain...

I'm someone who, if not for my parents' financial support, would be one of those homeless shopping cart people you see begging and dumpster diving. I've always been declined not only employment but equal opportunity at university to pursue my degree of choice, in spite of the fact I was (and still am) more than capable of doing the work. This practice of eugenics is downright evil.

Humans are monsters. At least my cat only cares about how I treat her. Kindness, compassion and patience seem to be very low on the the list of what's important to humans.

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