Archive: March 2008
Eliot Spitzer is an idiot
He came in with a giant landslide, and a population eager for change, and he turned it into a year of failure. This failure came because he tried to steamroller the state legislature the way he might a defendant in one of his A.G. cases, but that isn’t something the legislature is excited about.
He squandered his first year. And now he has capped it by being discovered to use hookers.
Here’s the thing — if you’re elected governor, and situations dictate that you can’t fuck your wife, just jack off for a while. It’ll be worth it for you. Just jack off for a few years, then when you retire, you can afford even better hookers. But instead, these assholes just have to have everything their way.
I say, good riddance. Spitzer has pissed away his goodwill. He has failed to create anything but scandal in his first year, so he can in no way expect to govern now that he is a criminal under the laws of his state. He must resign.
The good news is Lieutenant Governor David Paterson. I have met him on several occasions, and almost uniquely among politicians, he has a sense of humor. Not merely a “I will now pause in my speech for a joke” sense of humor, but the kind of humor that suggests a sense of perspective, a sense of self, and, unlike Eliot Spitzer, sense.
We endorse David Paterson for governor, by the end of the week.
A simple test
If you think you’re on a critical diplomatic mission, there is a simple test. Look to the left, and to the right. If you see Sinbad, be assured: ya’not.
The problem is, Clinton knows her record is weak. But she also knows how great she really is. She’s built up an impressive concept, in her head, about all she could do and be. It’s inconvenient to have to convince people of that bold concept using only the actual facts of her life, however. So, you know, she just makes stuff up that sounds better, instead.
When I was in art school, there were always people talking about their grand plans for the art they were gonna make. These people typically were disappointed with the actual pieces they had completed, and there’s no shame in that — you gotta start somewhere. However, there was a certain kind of art student who tried to draw your attention away from the (unimportant) pieces they’d made so you could focus on the (crucial, world-changing) but as-of-yet notional pieces they were gonna make real soon now. That was how I came to know the one thing I learned in art school:
Your work is not different from what you actually do.