Don't feed the amazing-looking receptionist
There was a package at the front desk for my assistant; it was a lightbox for her office. She asks, “Is it cookies?” I’m reminded that she keeps asking me why I don’t bring in cookies for the studio, which is a non sequitur no matter what we’re discussing. So when I go out for lunch, I tell the receptionist, who is unfortunately an amazing-looking woman that my partner hired, “I’m getting cookies. What kind?”
Except before I ask what kind, she has barked out, with wide eyes, “Chocolate chip!” So I bring back all-natural chocolate chip cookies. I come in with a bag. The receptionist starts following me around. I go to the kitchen and put them on a plate. My assistant has shown up as well. They look at the cookies on the plate, and eat a couple. The cookies are decided to be good. They leave. I get on the intercom and announce cookies in the kitchen, a joke since we are the only ones there, but the receptionist returns for more cookies about ten seconds later.
I go to my office and watch her go back and forth to the cookies for a while. Hours later my partner returns, complaining that the cookies were all eaten while he was out, and that there is now only a plate of crumbs. I blame the receptionist. Later she and I are working at getting a portfolio together; I ask, “Did you eat more than your share of cookies?”
She protests, we go into the kitchen, look at the pile of crumbs. I pick up the plate to show her. She picks out a remaining chocolate chip. She takes the plate. I resume telling her about the portfolio. She lifts up the plate and shoves her mouth around it, tilting her head back, letting crumbs spill down her throat and on her face and shirt. I laugh nervously. I ask her about the portfolio. She says, “I dunno,” and repeats the previous action with wide feral eyes, looking like she is going to take a bite out of the plate. She makes no move to wipe her face or shirt. She doesn’t quite let go of the plate, either.
by Jack, September 21, 2003 9:25 PM | More from Women
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Classic. I've been reading Trouble Sells for a couple of years, and this is the kind of quality story-telling I've come to expect, enjoy and even depend on.