Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Eliot Spitzer is an idiot

He came in with a giant landslide, and a population eager for change, and he turned it into a year of failure. This failure came because he tried to steamroller the state legislature the way he might a defendant in one of his A.G. cases, but that isn’t something the legislature is excited about.

He squandered his first year. And now he has capped it by being discovered to use hookers.

Here’s the thing — if you’re elected governor, and situations dictate that you can’t fuck your wife, just jack off for a while. It’ll be worth it for you. Just jack off for a few years, then when you retire, you can afford even better hookers. But instead, these assholes just have to have everything their way.

I say, good riddance. Spitzer has pissed away his goodwill. He has failed to create anything but scandal in his first year, so he can in no way expect to govern now that he is a criminal under the laws of his state. He must resign.

The good news is Lieutenant Governor David Paterson. I have met him on several occasions, and almost uniquely among politicians, he has a sense of humor. Not merely a “I will now pause in my speech for a joke” sense of humor, but the kind of humor that suggests a sense of perspective, a sense of self, and, unlike Eliot Spitzer, sense.

We endorse David Paterson for governor, by the end of the week.

by Jack, March 11, 2008 12:16 AM | More from Election 2008 | More from The Damned Human Race | More from Women

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